This article or my write up is an open discussion laid before both "today's" parents and youth.Well, we have seen that in our Asian culture, more specifically Indian Culture, majority of the families want their kid to get the best of education and and in his early twenty's land up in a job of 'their' choice.
What parents forget here is that likes and passions of every individual need not be same. Though they claim to be their bio-logical parents(claim-most of them are!) does not mean that their kid should inherit the same likes and passions that they behold.There would be many questions that an individual may confront at his late teens or early twenty's. Some of them be like-
What makes them so overbearing and watchful?
Why are they not ready to let teenies change course from their traditionally laid down trails?
Why they are so obsessed with their own format of living life and thinking pattern?
Why only education in form of written and oral tests are given primary importance even when the kid might not have a distinct liking towards it?
Aren't there any other ways a child can make his career?
Should be we ''Trained'' to achieve the pre-decided goals or should we be given an opportunity to lay our own?
Why working in McDonald's or any other retail outlet while pursuing your professional studies is looked down?
Why do they want us to think about the society all the time..be it with respect to our social circle,profession,our activities,our hobbies,love,marriage...!!?
Life at home sucks for you, and you can't wait until you can get out of the house.But is that always possible! As shown in films..the hero gets his backpack..a set of lenses and his pro cam and stays separately..turns out to be a good photographer and Whooow!!His life is set!
We see him doing it and we think we too can! But then there's are difference in Reel life and Real life.However, i don't deny the fact that many a times, if we take a right call, we might have the privilege of being heroes of our own life! Again, taking a call is dependent on several factors.Major ruling factors are our parents and 'their' society..and their values and their morals and their upbringing...and their preachings..and their care..and their love..and their expectations..and our mamis..mamas..uncles..aunts..grandpas/mas...!! WHERE ARE WE?
I had read an article sometime back. Sharing an excerpt:
Parental Tactics Of Coercion
The study delves deep into the effects of parental use of psychological control towards their teenage child. This psychological control was seen to incorporate tactics, such as inducing feelings of guilt in the child when he/ she did something that the parents thought was wrong, temporary withdrawal of love as a punishment tool and trying to foster anxiety within the child, in addition to other psychologically manipulative tactics aimed at getting desired behaviors from kids.
The research team felt that while these tactics would ensure a particular behavior from the child, by pressuring him into a decision that's in line with his parents' will, in the long haul, it would only reduce his ability to make his own judgments. So, even though parents tend to be happy when the child toes the line, what they fail to realize is that they may have just killed an opportunity to help the child learn, practicing self-direction and independent decision making. In future, this could make the child an easy target for coercion and manipulation.
By sharing this article i don't mean to demean Indian culture or the societal morals and ethics.But here i wish to focus on 'Law of Individuality' which clearly states that every individual is different when compared to other. This law will solve majority of problems if understood properly.
Often in the context of 'Independent Thinking' we forget that 'Independent' doesn't mean 'Self' or 'Selfish' or 'Self Centered Thinking or Self oriented Approach'. What it actually means is considering all the other factors and situations around how one should perceive, how one should reciprocate and how to take controlled measures!
A simple example would be when in a relation partners experience a downfall or loss of interest there could be multiple reasons associated with it.But during those times we only keep our own self in the center and keep thinking of all the things that have affected us! Here we tend to ignore our faults and we get more defensive in our approach.Sometimes we simply deny our responsibility towards our partner. When asked for the reasons we tend to use word 'ME' or 'I' forgetting that relation is all about 'US', 'WE'..One partner though is ready to sort all the things the other is reluctant saying that all wrongs have had a major impact on there life forgetting that impact is felt both ways. And then they wish to think 'Independently'. Here's the entire mess... 'cz in such situations independent thinking often gets restricted to one self. The thought process gets so self oriented and self centric that all negativeness get into your mind. You start seeing and assuming things which actually might be very different than what you perceived. In simple terms in such cases 'Independent Thinking = Thinking about your own self'. This is mostly the reason for break up stories.
If u ask me..every problem in this world can be sorted with communication. This is where most of the people get confused. Self respect, Pride and Ego are the main tools that make you lose a relation even where both the partners are aware of their love for each other.
We need to change our mindset. We need to understand that society plays an important role because that's the one who help us maintain our civilized status.If every single individual forgets what is actually meant by freedom and independentness then we might not be civilians in the making rather we might turn in to wild animals wandering down the streets. Stereotyped thinking must be stropped. Independent decision is must but thinking independently from all the sides and angles, by a different perspective, thinking into depth of why things are the way they are..and then coming to a rational solution is how the flow should be. Imposing decisions is wrong but the decision already taken is that really apt..!! that's what is to be thought off. Taking help and getting opinions from friends, elders and well wishers is always a welcome move. However, your mind should be open enough to also listen to the mistakes or criticisms that you get.We love listening when others tell us how right you are and dislike when we are shown the dark side of us. This is where we need to understand that 'an err is to human' and if we keep denying our mistakes and do not change the course of our action we are the ones who are putting every life at stake including our own!
Whether one has to work with McD's as a steward/captain while pursuing his education should be thought of from all the angles. Is it really required for him to work? Does that add value to his persona or his skills? how will this job benefit? How will he concentrate on his studies? Has he planned for the future? Where does he see himself after 3-4 years? Will this give him a sense of responsibility? and many more thoughts and questions will get answered if you try to find solutions rather than thinking "Why should my son/daughter work as a waiter in some food joint?". We have to get out of our own drawn peripheries and the ideologies that we tend to follow since ages. We need to broaden our outlook and start seeing world from a different perspective. Most Indians, however qualified they might be, still prefer 9-5 job rather than taking a different approach or thinking about being an Entrepreneur or having a own set up. A qualified engineer thinks that hes only good at engineering because his mindset is groomed in such a fashion that he finds it difficult to even think that he can or has an ability to put up his own business!! A Chartered Accountant should either teach, practice or land up in a job is what the trend says! Why cant he have his chain of hotels? Why can he float his own company? Why cant he be an entrepreneur? Why cant he be a dancer or singer!!!!! But we never feed our mind or look at things with different perspective! And when we do think differently all we think is of all the hurdles that we can face while stepping into a different venture and we stop there without even giving a second thought to all the solutions that lay ahead of us..all we require is to take one step ahead !!
AIB Roast is considered vulgar and political parties made a cry of it..! Did anybody even bother when parliamentary members were caught red handed watching porn inside the holy place of decision making for the country!! Does anybody even bother when our country is run by a bunch of politicians where majority of them don't even hold a basic qualification! But we have time to argue on a show that clearly had a adult certification.We have time to burn down shops selling Valentines Cards..carrying boards and hoardings in English..we have time to argue whether its 'Bombay' or 'Mumbai'..we changed the names but majority of articles and sections in Constitution of India still are adapted from British Law. We have time to argue on whether Sunny Leone is changing the face of Indian Cinema by making it more porno than acting! But nobody talks of increasing rapes and moral blindness of our Society...and there are many more such incidences. Again a play of narrow mindset and not being receptive where its required. People objecting feel that they have taken a matured step. Well, even Einstein or any great scholar hasnt yet defined what maturity is!
To conclude all i will say is we as a individual and as a team should make effort to look at things and situations with different perspective. When we will broaden horizons only then we will be receptive towards others ideas and thinking patterns.We will only then understand the purpose of their act, the words said, decisions taken and effort made. Think Independently without turning a blind eye and a deaf ear on others thoughts, ideas, emotions and the facts.Harmony and peace only then can be obtained.
-Its SR
A simple example would be when in a relation partners experience a downfall or loss of interest there could be multiple reasons associated with it.But during those times we only keep our own self in the center and keep thinking of all the things that have affected us! Here we tend to ignore our faults and we get more defensive in our approach.Sometimes we simply deny our responsibility towards our partner. When asked for the reasons we tend to use word 'ME' or 'I' forgetting that relation is all about 'US', 'WE'..One partner though is ready to sort all the things the other is reluctant saying that all wrongs have had a major impact on there life forgetting that impact is felt both ways. And then they wish to think 'Independently'. Here's the entire mess... 'cz in such situations independent thinking often gets restricted to one self. The thought process gets so self oriented and self centric that all negativeness get into your mind. You start seeing and assuming things which actually might be very different than what you perceived. In simple terms in such cases 'Independent Thinking = Thinking about your own self'. This is mostly the reason for break up stories.
If u ask me..every problem in this world can be sorted with communication. This is where most of the people get confused. Self respect, Pride and Ego are the main tools that make you lose a relation even where both the partners are aware of their love for each other.
We need to change our mindset. We need to understand that society plays an important role because that's the one who help us maintain our civilized status.If every single individual forgets what is actually meant by freedom and independentness then we might not be civilians in the making rather we might turn in to wild animals wandering down the streets. Stereotyped thinking must be stropped. Independent decision is must but thinking independently from all the sides and angles, by a different perspective, thinking into depth of why things are the way they are..and then coming to a rational solution is how the flow should be. Imposing decisions is wrong but the decision already taken is that really apt..!! that's what is to be thought off. Taking help and getting opinions from friends, elders and well wishers is always a welcome move. However, your mind should be open enough to also listen to the mistakes or criticisms that you get.We love listening when others tell us how right you are and dislike when we are shown the dark side of us. This is where we need to understand that 'an err is to human' and if we keep denying our mistakes and do not change the course of our action we are the ones who are putting every life at stake including our own!
Whether one has to work with McD's as a steward/captain while pursuing his education should be thought of from all the angles. Is it really required for him to work? Does that add value to his persona or his skills? how will this job benefit? How will he concentrate on his studies? Has he planned for the future? Where does he see himself after 3-4 years? Will this give him a sense of responsibility? and many more thoughts and questions will get answered if you try to find solutions rather than thinking "Why should my son/daughter work as a waiter in some food joint?". We have to get out of our own drawn peripheries and the ideologies that we tend to follow since ages. We need to broaden our outlook and start seeing world from a different perspective. Most Indians, however qualified they might be, still prefer 9-5 job rather than taking a different approach or thinking about being an Entrepreneur or having a own set up. A qualified engineer thinks that hes only good at engineering because his mindset is groomed in such a fashion that he finds it difficult to even think that he can or has an ability to put up his own business!! A Chartered Accountant should either teach, practice or land up in a job is what the trend says! Why cant he have his chain of hotels? Why can he float his own company? Why cant he be an entrepreneur? Why cant he be a dancer or singer!!!!! But we never feed our mind or look at things with different perspective! And when we do think differently all we think is of all the hurdles that we can face while stepping into a different venture and we stop there without even giving a second thought to all the solutions that lay ahead of us..all we require is to take one step ahead !!
AIB Roast is considered vulgar and political parties made a cry of it..! Did anybody even bother when parliamentary members were caught red handed watching porn inside the holy place of decision making for the country!! Does anybody even bother when our country is run by a bunch of politicians where majority of them don't even hold a basic qualification! But we have time to argue on a show that clearly had a adult certification.We have time to burn down shops selling Valentines Cards..carrying boards and hoardings in English..we have time to argue whether its 'Bombay' or 'Mumbai'..we changed the names but majority of articles and sections in Constitution of India still are adapted from British Law. We have time to argue on whether Sunny Leone is changing the face of Indian Cinema by making it more porno than acting! But nobody talks of increasing rapes and moral blindness of our Society...and there are many more such incidences. Again a play of narrow mindset and not being receptive where its required. People objecting feel that they have taken a matured step. Well, even Einstein or any great scholar hasnt yet defined what maturity is!
To conclude all i will say is we as a individual and as a team should make effort to look at things and situations with different perspective. When we will broaden horizons only then we will be receptive towards others ideas and thinking patterns.We will only then understand the purpose of their act, the words said, decisions taken and effort made. Think Independently without turning a blind eye and a deaf ear on others thoughts, ideas, emotions and the facts.Harmony and peace only then can be obtained.
-Its SR
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